Joe’s Jotter: A Short Article on Helping your Teen Manage their Time Better
From listening to Parents, I constantly hear that their teenage children struggle to manage and balance their time well. It is important to note that each child is unique, and they use different ways to organise themselves and distribute their time.
From listening to students over the years, procrastination is the biggest problem they have. We need to help them break down these barriers, both in their school and personal life. Below are three quick ways that you and your child can collaborate to help them plan and structure their time better.
1. Introduce them to ‘Using a Calendar’ to Plan.
A Calendar is a great reminder tool for Important events and tasks. This can take the form of a Calendar on their smart phone, an app, or a book style calendar to organise their revision routine, sports training, activities etc. After a short teething process, they will soon realise how much more organised they are, as they take increased responsibility for themselves.
If your child has their own Calendar of reminders, you won’t have to be constantly reminding them of what’s coming up – once will hopefully be enough, as they note it down. Your perceived role as the ‘naggy parent’ will diminish, which will of course benefit your relationship with them.
I use the Calendar on my Phone to plan my workday, personal activities, and meetings.
It is backed up to the iCloud daily which gives great peace of mind. I highly recommend this to anyone for better time management. Offer to help setup this or the above personal Calendar for them. Allowing them to be in charge of their time gives them great independence and confidence.
An alternative to a written or digital Calendar would be to have a centralised family planner on the wall at home. The advantage of this is that everyone would use it to enter their schedules. This also promotes responsibility and allows you and your spouse to plan ahead for car trips etc.
2. Show your Teenager How to ‘Map out’ Each Day.
Lend them a hand to setup their day-to-day map for the two or three weeks and then leave them to it. This involves noting down all the tasks a student needs to do on a daily or weekly basis. Start small. Checking in for a short period each day and getting them to note their important tasks will improve their focus and foster prioritisation, especially if you are not around.
During this discussion, suggest ways they can do things better and provide options. Once discussed, let them choose one. Again, initially support them as they learn to deal with distractions and improve their focus. Having things written down or recorded to their phone is a key element of taking ownership of tasks, so be sure to emphasise this with them.
If they decide to break with plan (and they will) and it affects other important stuff, the odd gentle reminder to refocus is no harm – but not too often. More carrot than stick will work better. Again, it is about helping them learn from mistakes and bit by bit be more organised. Some students will need a more rigid structure, depending on the type of person they are and of course their age. You will be the best judge of your own child here and what may work for them.
You also might need to set some guidelines when mapping their day out e.g. You must get some chores around the house done before you can head out with your friends for the weekend. This is a very good way of getting them to contribute at home, as indeed they should. This is a win for all, as you subtly teach them responsibility.
‘Mapping out’ can help for tasks like getting up in the morning, organising their books for class the next day, planning for evening activities, and ordering homework and revision to fit better into their evening etc. The core skills they learn here will be transferable across many areas of their life.
3. Let them Ultimately Decide, even if You Don’t Agree.
The best way to work together in harmony is to present two or three options to your teenager and then let them choose a pathway. This fosters independence and improves the relationship. Resentment will be kept to a minimum if you let them decide. Be firm but fair by agreeing on a list of tasks they have to do on a certain day or week, discussing them (possibly removing a few through discussion) and ultimately getting everything that is important to them done.
Getting your child to organise themselves efficiently won’t happen overnight; it could take years. It starts as soon as they understand what a task or a chore is around ten years of age and runs until they have completed their Leaving Certificate. Every day, you can hone whatever process you find that works for them, experimenting to see which they like and more importantly which improves how they deal with time. Other time management tips to slowly introduce include:
• Developing Routines – Encourage daily repetitive habits to Increase their focus.
• Prioritisation – Teach them to order (on a written list) what is urgent and not so.
• Setting Short Term Goals – Help them write down weekly, monthly, or yearly goals.
• Tech Flexibility – Set and agree ground rules at a young age around the use of technology.
The way your teenager manages their time will vary wildly and will probably drive you mad from time to time. Implementing some of the above procedures consistently will be the key to success for both of you, as you collaborate better together. Your teenager and you will reap the benefits long into the future from your efforts to help them develop these skills.
Wishing you luck in all your endeavours. Joe.
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